Financial Counseling for Domestic Abuse Victims

The month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Most of us are familiar with the physical interpretation of the issue. Few are actively aware of the fact that the abuse can run the gamut of all aspects of a victim's life, including their access to funds and credit. During my tenure as a contributing author and Editorial Advisory Board member of SmartPros, the managing editor published information financial professionals can use regarding counseling and serving the needs of women who are survivors of domestic abuse as it relates to finances. That was in 2002. Many things have changed but some have not.

The article can no longer be found on the SmartPros site. It is reproduced here to serve as an introduction to the concepts.

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Financial Counseling for Domestic Abuse Victims

by

Yvonne LaRose

December 2002 -- According to a 1993 pamphlet prepared by the National Woman Abuse Prevention Project, three to four million women per year are the targets of domestic abuse because they are beaten by their husband or partner in the home. Of this number, those who leave the home with their children have a 50 percent likelihood of having their standard of living drop below the poverty line or are likely to resort to welfare or homelessness because of the financial constraints they endured. However, these women -- and men -- do escape and do survive albeit with great initial difficulty.

Those who are able to get into a battered women's shelter for the usual 30- to 45-day stay will not receive financial or budget counseling, nor advice on credit repair. In the United States, there are only two long-term shelters (twelve to twenty-four months, also known as transitional housing facilities), where they will receive this type of counseling and guidance. Those two shelters are prototypes from which additional programs will be started.

Don’t be surprised when a client comes to you for financial or tax guidance and you discover your non-stereotypical client is a survivor. Domestic abuse is not an issue that affects the poor, uneducated person of color. Domestic abuse is a malevolent disease. It doesn’t recognize age, attractiveness, ethnicity, education, intelligence, wealth, or position.

The Problem

Physical abuse and battering is one element of domestic abuse. Other aspects of this crime that are just as or more insidious and harmful are emotional, sexual and financial abuse. The financial aspect is the element that keeps the target in her situation; the financial aspect is what will bring the her to you after she's escaped.

The Usual Pattern

Abuse grows from a personal, intimate relationship of presumed trust. The abuser gains access to all of your client’s personal information, physical assets and documents. Then access to them is doled out in stingy bits (if at all).

Debt

Sister Anne Kelley, executive director of a long-term battered women’s shelter, described some forms of debt that an abuser will create for their target. Large credit charges from misuse of or stolen credit cards, stolen vehicle pink slips, and enormous telephone bills. Not included in the list are things such as unauthorized (or coerced) savings withdrawals, checking account overdrafts, withdrawals from retirement or pension funds, sells or trades of stocks and bonds or certificate of deposit withdrawals.

Starting Over on Meager Funds

Sister Kelley’s program is one of two in the country (California and Illinois) that offers comprehensive classes on getting started again. The classes teach the survivors how to do a credit check and then start the clean-up process. The clean-up work involves working out credit and repayment plans, getting charges dropped, or shifting the burden of debt back to the responsible party. She notes that a huge influx of recent second-step program funds, some from Violence Against Women Act ("VAWA") and some from the State, have enabled these classes.

Since there are only two programs like this in all of the United States and millions of women (not including men nor elders who are subject to the same type of abuse), it soon becomes clear that financial professionals need to be aware of the problem of domestic financial abuse and the issues the survivor must handle in order to start her new life.

Safety Measures

So in addition to the credit review and repair work, some safety measures need to be implemented. The abuser has the target's full name, birth date and place, Social Security number, driver's license number and all financial account numbers. The abuser also has access to all documents of title. Changing one's Social Security number is so difficult, it could be called an exercise in futility.

The better route is erecting safeguards and passwords that are not based on the usual: mother's maiden name, last four digits of (or full) Social Security number, place of birth or birth date. Instead, the client should choose unique passwords or numbers for access to all of their records and bills and then keep those passwords confidential.

All assets that were previously held in a joint account should be separated so that the client is the only one who has access and theirs is the only name of ownership.

Even though you may have a document in front of you that names the abuser as an authorized person on an account, you need to ascertain from your client how that instrument of authority was created. Many times the abuser will forge documents in the survivor's name; use false pretenses, extortion or coercion to get power of attorney or authorization; or impersonate the client. Question your client carefully to ascertain whether any of these scenarios are the case. Counsel on how to rescind the instruments or notify the institutions of their invalidity.

Repairing and Rebuilding Credit

You’ll want to work with your client on ways to repair her credit or offer her guidance on where to get that counseling. She’ll also want to know how to rebuild a good credit record and will look to you for how to get that information. Have a reference list you can give her.

Rebuilding Finances

The survivor of domestic (financial) abuse needs to rebuild her funds. In many cases, the survivor escaped with less than $50 and the clothing on her back. She’ll want advice on how to budget, start saving, rebuilding a retirement fund, get affordable health insurance, and regain title to any securities she may have owned. She’ll want to know about the various types of safe securities on the market and which are more feasible choices.

Safe Havens

It isn't a pretty picture, no matter what type of abuse occurred. However, the process of rebuilding from domestic abuse requires special financial counseling for a special type of client. As programs and awareness grow, you'll be one of her havens for that guidance.

About the Author:

Yvonne LaRose is a California Accredited Consultant. She combines her years of experience in law, business, recruiting, and executive responsibilities to provide management and recruiting consultation in addition to career development coaching and public speaking. Her column, Career and Executive Recruiting Advice (known as "CERA"), and her Web site, provide news, advice, and tools for one’s professional development and recruiting interests. She is a contributing author to the ebook, The Last Job Search Guide You'll Ever Need. She can be reached via email at ylarose at consultant dot com for additional information concerning domestic and workplace violence or visit the "Domestic Violence" heading of the Articles Index.

Sponsored Links:

• Ending Domestic Violence Captivity: A Guide to Economic Freedom
  
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Handling the Abuser

Somewhere in the United States, a person sits within the confines of their home. They are alone for the moment and feel utterly isolated from all friends, family, and co-workers. Their funds are limited, controlled by someone else. They have to ask permission for the most inconsequential of things. They are depressed, mostly because their life has come to such an empty point. All dreams, hopes, and desires have been dashed into the sand.

They are edgy. The least thing makes them cranky -- or at least it seems that way. They flare up at belittling things. They are threatened with reprisals for the most minor of things or badgered for information. Their body trembles with fear at the threat of reprisals for speaking in their own behalf. Physical aches and pains plague them. They are completely aware that physical or verbal attacks are the price to be paid for self assertion.

They remember instances of recreation and laughter for the sake of joy.

They're having nightmares. Night after night, the same theme invades their unconscious state to remind them of the last time they were flung across the room, pummeled for telling an anecdote about how something was vandalized, or chastised for the least of innocent things. Being called stupid, faulted for things that are actually correct, prevented from attending to things in a timely fashion are part and parcel of their evolving psyche. The person becomes part of the 32 million American population identified as battered and abused.

They're in full stage battered person syndrome or post-traumatic stress disorder.

How do you explain to someone that they are an abuser? It's a tricky situation. When you walk away from them, you'll have to shake your head in order to cancel the crazy-talk, circular reasoning, nonsense they've foisted upon you to bamboozle you with their logic and convince you that they're right. But they're not. They're trying to control you and the situation with their nonsense. So adept at this art are they that as you listen to them, they weave a complex tapestry that sounds valid and believable. If they have a position of authority, the legitimacy of their argument is falsely bolstered by the fact of their job title. Their flimsy, flawed reasoning is not questioned but taken as gospel.

How do you tell someone they're being abusive when they're telling you that you need a lot of help with reasoning? They will go out of their way to be a "friend" in order to explain the most elementary of concepts -- concepts that you're attempting to explain to them. These are insults and put-downs. They are belittling. These are concepts that they are simply not grasping and it appears they never will. Their reasoning is too concrete.

But their belittling words are definitely starting to affect your self esteem. Do not let this person make you start questioning your value nor your intelligence. You are fine. If anything, allow your introspection to go so far as to confirm the conclusions before their assault on you; make certain you respond with a reinforced hit on their failed logic.

How do you explain to the abuser that their ignoring you is additional evidence that they’re working at diminishing you and your self worth? Assert yourself. Call their attention to the avoidance tactic. Also, don't allow yourself to be ignored. It's all right to ignore the bully -- to simply not hear them when they speak -- once they've proven what they are. If they're standing over you while talking, it's fine to rise from your chair and bump into them. But then, be polite. Tell them, "Oh, excuse me [insert name]. I didn't realize you were there." But to be certain, you are not required to sit through their berating stream of words. Simply walk away. Don't become a part of the spew. If you must, tell them you just don't have time right now. What they're saying will have to wait until another time. Then just walk away.

How do you help the abuser realize that their tactics to disrupt and destroy something you're about to do, a presentation you're preparing to make, with threats of self harm or some other alarming proclamation, are now recognized for what they are and will be ignored? Let them know it's inappropriate to manipulate others in such an immature manner; it won't be tolerated.

How do you handle the bully and the abuser? Don't lower yourself to their level; don't use their tactics as a counter. They'll revel in the fact that you've made yourself as small as they are and taunt you into doing something even more degrading. Step away from them. Walk away from their acts. Don’t hear their words.

If you're at work, make a note about what happened -- date, time, and place. Do it without adding value terms. Just state the facts and save it. A time will come when you need to refer to it or show it to someone. Just save it as a reminder. It's a reminder not only of what occurred but also that you're soon going to leave that job site for something better.

How do you handle the abuser and bully? Whether male or female, the behavior will affect you. Try as you might, you cannot handle the abuser through normal reasoning because they are not highly likely to understand. You remove yourself from their company and let them fester in their own bile.

Viva
Yvonne LaRose, CAC